By: Day Rankin
Do you ever recall the moment when you started defining success on your own terms? Or have you ever?
For me, the year was 2015. I had just graduated college with a degree in Journalism, something I’d been longing for since I was 11 years old. I was finally an adult, ready to blaze my own trail and chart my own path.
Up until that point, I equated most of my worth with the traditional idea of success. I had my whole life mapped out too, as most of us do. My plans were to go to college so that I could get my piece of paper and flee from Mississippi to New York City. There, I would get a job at a well-known magazine publication, become an editor, move into a loft overlooking the city, and live the life of a rich and famous bystander.
That was the start of the American Dream, right? Go to school, get a dream job, work, get married, buy a house, start a family, retire, travel, and enjoy a grandchild or two. In that order.
The summer after graduation was coming to an end; and so was the high from my recent accomplishment. Life started taking my peers and I in different directions. Some entered grad school and new jobs. Others moved away to new cities, got engaged and started creating families. And there I was, sitting in my purple-painted teenage bedroom (I moved back home after college) endlessly applying for jobs and wondering when it would be my turn.
To follow the same formula and not get the same results felt soul-crushing. I’ll spare you the details on how I internalized my post-grad experience and move on to the part of the story where I reclaimed my power.
One year after graduating and applying, my phone finally rang. It was a friend who called to pass along an opportunity. This wasn’t my dream job, but it would be my first big-girl job at an office making more money than I was making in retail. I was so excited. This stepping stone was the moment I’d been waiting on. It was the moment my family had been waiting on. It was the moment society had been waiting on.
All that waiting and wishing, and to my surprise, I hated it.
I know, I know. “A job is a job…” etc., but this is when I started paying close attention to the signs. Eventually I thought, “If the jobs I want don’t want me, and I don’t want the jobs that do want me, then maybe I should just create my own job.”
From there, I took a chance on myself and decided to pursue freelance writing and entrepreneurship. This was never on my radar. I always thought I would take a more traditional route to success before venturing into my own endeavors, but life had other plans.
Taking a nontraditional path is rarely easy. My decision initially brought on some hard lessons, but it was the beginning of my self-discovery journey and redefining what success means to me. Here are the five takeaways and lessons I’ve learned in charting my own path and creating success on my own terms. I hope these inspire you to continuously adapt, forge new paths, and persist in the pursuit of your unique goals.
Lesson 1: Success is a Personal Journey
The first thing I learned is that success is deeply personal. It doesn’t conform to societal norms or timelines. Each person’s journey is unique, and it’s crucial to recognize that your path may differ from others. Why do you want the things you want? Why are your goals your goals? Do those goals align with your purpose, interests, wants, and needs? Are your goals tied to others’ perception of you? These are questions I had to ask myself when I started defining success on my own terms.
Lesson 2: Embrace Change and Adapt
When my first “big-girl” job didn’t align with my expectations, I learned the importance of embracing change and adapting. Life is expansive and change is inevitable. It’s okay to pivot when something isn’t working and explore new opportunities. We don’t have to stay married to our plans and expectations. Flexibility is key in defining your own success.
Lesson 3: Trust Your Instincts
Lesson three is all about self-belief. It was a true leap of faith, but trusting my instincts and listening to the signs led me to pursue a career in freelance writing and entrepreneurship. This was something that wasn’t in my plans, but a risk I knew I needed to take. When you have a gut feeling that there’s a better way to define success for yourself, follow it.
Lesson 4: Embrace Unconventional Paths
Traditional routes to success may not be the best fit for everyone. Embracing unconventional paths can lead to remarkable personal growth and fulfillment. Don’t be afraid to step off the beaten track and create your unique journey.
Lesson 5: Patience and Persistence Pays Off
Defining success on your terms often requires patience and persistence. It may not happen overnight, and you may face setbacks, but keep pushing forward. Eventually, you will achieve all the success you desire; and it will be on your own terms. This, I know for sure.